Healing Steps
by blackandblueangel
Summary: I, Layla Nicole Todd, am a murderer. Layla can't come to terms with the fact that she killed Stooge. Watching Layla sulk into a deep depression for the last three weeks was breaking Kate's heart. When things go to far, Kate needs to decide what next?
1. Depressed Layla

_**Disclaimer: If I owned NCIS, I'd go all soap opera and unkill Kate and Jenny. I only own Layla.**_

_**Summary: I, Layla Nicole Todd, am a can't come to terms with the fact that she killed Stooge. Watching Layla sulk into a deep depression for the last three weeks was breaking Kate's heart. When things go to far, Kate decides to snap her sister out of it. Can Kate help Layla?**_

_**Warning: this story contains deep depression and self-harm. If you don't like….then don't read!**_

_**A/N: This is a sequel to Hostages. If you have not read my other story, you will be very confused…..soo read Hostages, before this.**_

It has been three weeks since the hostage crisis and Layla still can't go into the kitchen. She could go into the living room, no problem. She didn't kill anybody in there. She was a murderer. At least, that's what she feels like. She killed a man. Yes, the man was a bad guy. Yes, the man had threatened her many times throughout the night and morning. Yes, given the chance he was going to kill her first. That didn't matter, though. She killed him, so she was no better that Levi Blankenship and Daniel Carter. Kate and her friends told her that it wasn't her fault. What did they know? They were federal agents, and killing bad guys was apart of their job.

It had been three weeks since the hostage crisis, and Layla had yet to open up. Kate watched everyday as her baby sister fell deeper and deeper into depression. She suggested that Layla see a therapist, but Layla wasn't very open to the idea.

Her fourteenth birthday was three days ago, but Layla didn't celebrate. Kate and Leslie tried to get her to, but no luck. Layla didn't deserve it. She was a murderer, after all.

She was like a robot. She woke up, went to school, came home, and stayed in her room. Her routine never changed on the days that Kate made her go to school. Kate and Leslie both noticed. They both kept checking on her. Whenever Kate wasn't home, Leslie was there. She'd bring Marlaina, but even the adorable seven-month-old couldn't cheer her up.

On the days she actually went to school, Layla was withdrawn. She may not have had many friends to begin with, but everyone noticed the tiny red head, who always got into trouble, was staying out of trouble. She wasn't doing her homework and her grades were starting to slip. Teacher were concerned and sent her to the school psychologist. Layla said nothing to the man. He called Kate and she explained the situation. The psychologist said that Kate should take her to see someone. Like she really hadn't thought of that. What was she going to do, pick Layla up and drag her to see a therapist? Layla was a little too big for Kate to lift.

When she was at home, Layla stayed in her room. She wouldn't even listen to music. She'd just sit on her bed. About ten days ago she pick up on another habit: cutting. She'd take any sharp object she could find and make semi deep cuts along her arms, legs, and belly. It was mid-winter, so she could get away with long sleeves and pants. That was the only thing Kate and Leslie didn't notice. They didn't know what Layla was doing to herself physically, just mentally.

Kate knocked on Layla's door and opened it. "Laylee?" she, quietly, called. She saw Layla sitting on a far corner of her bed with her knees to her chest and her face buried in her knees. Kate sat down on the other end of the bed. "Layla, when was the last time you took a shower?" she asked.

Layla didn't answer, it had been days ago.

Kate nodded. "That's what I thought. Go shower and get ready for school."

Layla got up from the bed and left the room. Kate sat there for a minute. She needed to think. What was she going to do now? She got up and looked around Layla's room. She didn't even recognize the area. Layla's room always was at least a little messy, but right now it was spotless. Kate looked over at Layla's dresser. The big mirror on it was broken. It looked like Layla threw something at it. Kate sighed and closed her eyes. She left the room to retrieve a garbage bag. She walked back in the room to clean up the broken glass. There was a lot of it. She needed to do something. She finished cleaning up and turned to leave when something caught her eye. On the floor by Layla's bed was a paper towel. Kate picked it up and saw blood all over it. It all made sense now. She sat on Layla's bed. Layla always wore long sleeves, stayed in her room, depressed, and the broken glass. When did Layla start this? There was no way that Kate was going to work today. She walked out of Layla's room to find her cell phone, which was on the nightstand in her room. She had Gibbs on speed dial. "Gibbs." She heard from the line.

"It's Kate. I'm taking a personal day, I need to stay with Layla." She told him.

"How bad?" he asked.

"Bad, I need to figure out what to do next." She answered.

"Take care of her." He said before hanging up.

Kate made her way back to Layla's room. She was still in the shower. Kate sat down on Layla's bed. She let a few tears slip. She couldn't just sit back and watch Layla slowly kill herself. It was time to save Layla from herself. The problem was, Layla had to want to be helped. Layla walked back into her room and found Kate sitting on the bed. "Why are you still in here?" she asked.

"We need to talk, Laylee." Kate whispered. Layla froze. "Come, sit. You're not in trouble with me." Kate assured her.

Layla sat next to her. "Not in trouble with you? Then who am I in trouble with?" she asked

"Yourself." Kate answered.

"What?" Kate showed her the bloody paper towel. "Where are you going with this?"

"When did this start, Layla?"

Layla looked away. "It doesn't matter."

"It does to me." Kate proclaimed. "You need to start opening up."

"No, I don't." Layla calmly insisted.

"You can't keep going on like this, Layla." Kate pointed out.

"Like what?" she snapped.

"Depressed, withdrawn. When you actually do go to school, you don't talk to anybody. You don't do your homework; your grades are slipping. When you're home, you avoid the kitchen. You're always in here." Kate paused and lifted Layla's shirt, revealing some of her cuts on her belly. "This isn't you." She pointed out, holding back tears.

Layla stood up to face Kate. "How the hell is talking going to help? I don't even want to think about that morning, Kate!" she yelled.

Kate decided to take a different approach. "What morning?" she asked.

"You know what morning." She reminded her.

"No, I don't. Which morning? Yesterday? Last week? Two wee.." Kate was cut off.

"Three weeks ago. Here." Layla dropped to the floor, crying. Kate went to sit next to her, wrapping her arms around her and pulling her close. "I killed him, Kate. I took a life and I don't know how to live with it." She sobbed.

Kate felt a few of her own tears fall as she tried to comfort her sister. She kissed the top of Layla's head and stroked her hair. Layla sobbed into Kate's chest. They were on the floor of Layla room for almost an hour when Layla cried herself to sleep. Kate laid them both down, while continuing to hold her baby sister. Kate knew that Layla's little episode that just happened is a start towards healing.

_**A/n: I've never written anything like this before, so what do you think?**_


	2. Will you let me get you help?

_**A/N: Thanks books-n-cookies for your wonderful review, you rock! Anyways. this isn't going to be a very long story. In fact, this is the last chapter. Like at said that the end of my last story, I'm doing a bunch of one shots w/ Layla as well. Well….here's the story.**_

Kate didn't remember when she fell asleep. When she woke up she had a blanket over her and Layla was nowhere to be found. Kate sat up and looked at the clock on Layla's dresser. It was noon. She stood up and left to find Layla.

Layla was standing in the doorway that connected the living room to the kitchen. She was trying to work up the courage to take a step in the kitchen. Everytime she tried, she would start to hyperventilate and step back. So many emotions flashed through her at once: Fear, guilt, anger. She didn't know how to process it. She felt weak.

She was also thinking about when she stabbed Stooge. As she imagined Stooge touching her shoulder, someone touched her shoulder. Without thinking, Layla quickly turned and punched the person. After that, she realized it was Kate. Kate rubbed the side of her head. "Damn, Layla." She whined.

"Sorry, Kate." She apologized.

Kate wrapped her arms around her sister. "No worries. What are you doing?" she asked.

"Trying to go into the kitchen." She answered.

"How long have you been at it?"

"An hour."

"Why didn't you wake me?"

Layla shrugged. "I don't know." They stood there in silence for a few minutes. Layla turned to Kate. "Come with me?" she answered.

Kate smiled. "Of course." Layla turned around and faced the kitchen. "Take all the time that you need." Kate whispered.

Layla stepped back and latched herself onto Kate's arm. "Let's go." she sighed. She and Kate took a step forward. One more step to go. Layla closed her eyes and took the next step forward, followed by Kate.

"Open your eyes, Layla." Kate whispered.

She did and saw that they made it into the kitchen. Layla smiled to herself. She new she had made a big accomplishment. But her pride was short lived, when flashbacks hit her like a truck.

_Flashback:_

Layla kept her back towards Stooge. She knew that wasn't the smartest move, but she was tired of looking at him. Half way through her apple, she heard Stooge walking towards her. She didn't know why, but she reached for a knife in the sink. She kept her hand and the knife in the sink. Once Stooge had a firm grip on her shoulder, reflex kicked in. She quickly turned around and stabbed him through the side of his neck with the big butcher knife. Stooge gasped in pain. Layla couldn't believe what she just did, as she slowly pulled the knife out of him and dropped it. The knife hit the floor at the same time Stooge's body did. Layla sank to the ground, staring at him. Ringleader came in. She thought he was going to kill her.

_End Flashback._

Kate could feel Layla shaking. She looked down at the teen. "Layla?" she questioned. Layla didn't respond. She was staring out into space. Kate gently slipped her arm out of Layla's grasp and walked in front of her, bending over slightly to meet her height. "Layla." Nothing. Kate lightly shook her. "Layla." Layla blinked and looked at her. "Welcome back, where did you go?" she asked.

Tears fell freely down Layla's face. "I was standing by the sink, eating an apple. Stooge, or Daniel Carter, was standing in the doorway. I had my back to him. I was so stupid." She walked over to the sink, Kate followed.

"Layla look at me." Layla turned to look at her. "Sure, turning your back on him, wasn't the smartest idea, but it's not your fault." Kate tried to assure her.

"Like hell it wasn't!" Layla snapped. "It's easy for you to say! You're a fed, killing bad guys is apart of your job!"

Kate sighed. "That doesn't make it any easier." Kate decided they'd come back to that point. "You want to continue?" she asked

"I zoned out. I was thinking how I wanted you go come in and make them go away, then he started walking towards me. I don't know why but I grabbed a knife from the sink. He touched my shoulder and I just did it." She paused to sob. She couldn't stop the tears from falling. She started sobbing uncontrollably.

Kate wrapped her arms around Layla, again, pulling Layla to her. "It's okay." She whispered, trying not to cry herself. No wonder she scared Layla when she touched her shoulder.

Layla calmed herself and pulled away. "Ringleader walked into the kitchen and thought I'd be dead where I sat, but he was calm. He told me to come back into the living room. I tried to stop looking at him when I was leaving the kitchen." Layla sighed. _Wow, talking about it did feel good._

Kate didn't know what to say, there's nothing she could say. She kissed Layla's forehead. She just needed Layla to know that she was here for her. "I know that there is nothing I can say that will make you feel better anytime soon, but you know that I'm here whenever you need me. You also have Leslie and Abby."

"I'm sorry, Kate." She said as the tears started again.

Kate nodded. "No, you don't need to be apologize. You're my sister and I love you. But I can't watch you destroy yourself. This isn't good for you. You have your whole life ahead of you, don't give in now." She paused to let Layla process everything she said. Layla was looking just left of Kate, thinking. Kate sighed. "Layla, will you please let me get you help?"

Layla sighed. She was afraid……..

_**A/N: I lied…..Chapter three will be up as soon as I can. I have final this week soo we'll see. I'll definitely making chapter three the last chapter though. Hope you liked this one.**_


	3. Getting help

_**A/N: Finals are over! sooo final chapter……Poor Layla, she's had a rough time, lately…..**_

Layla nodded. "You'll be with me every step of the way?" she asked.

"Of course, Laylee, but you need to do whatever the doctor says. With those self-inflicted cuts, he may want to admit you." Kate paused. "Are you prepared for that?" she asked.

Layla walked over to the table and sat in one of the chairs. "I need to do this, Kate. You're right; I can't go on like this. If I don't get help, I'll just get worse." She paused. "Don't let me fall, Kate." Her voice broke as she held back a sob.

Kate nodded and walked over to her sister. "I'll call Ducky. I'm sure he knows someone that can help. But for now, are you hungry?"

"We have any bananas?" Layla asked.

"No, we have apples." Kate replied.

Layla, quickly, nodded. "No!" she started shaking.

Kate took a hint. "It's lunchtime, I'll order chinese. You want shrimp egg foo yung?"

"Yeah, that be fine." Layla agreed. Kate smiled, nodded, and left the room. Layla rested her head on the table, a single tear escaped.

Kate went into her room after ordering Chinese. She didn't want Layla to hear what she was talking to Ducky about. "Autopsy." She heard Ducky greet.

"Hey, Ducky, it's Kate."

"Caitlin, dear, how's Layla?" he asked.

Kate sighed. "Not good."

"I'm sorry."

"I need a favor."

"Name it."

"Do you know any psychiatrists that take my insurance?" she asked, trying to keep from breaking down.

"Doctor Williams is the best I know. His number is 555-9648." He informed her.

She wrote down the number. "Thanks, Ducky."

"Do you need us to come over? You don't need to go through this alone, dear." He assured her.

Kate smiled, slightly. "As much as I'd like that, Ducky, I don't think Layla would be happy." She answered.

"Keep me posted, my dear."

"I promise." She assured him before hanging up. She immediately dialed Doctor Williams' number.

"Thank you for calling DC Psychiatry, how can I help you?" she heard a female voice greet.

"Um, yes, I need to make an appointment for my sister with Doctor Williams." Kate said.

"Is she a new patient?"

"Yes."

"Her name?"

"Layla Todd."

"Date of Birth?"

"January 5, 1990."

"Okay, We have an opening tomorrow at 3. Is that okay with you?"

Kate sighed. "It's going to have to be." She responded before hanging up. She walked back into the kitchen with Layla. Layla still had her head on the table. Kate sat in the chair by her. "Laylee?"

"Hmm?" Layla answered.

"You have an appointment for tomorrow." She informed her.

"Okay." She paused. "Kate?"

"Yeah."

Layla picked her head up. "I'm scared."

Kate gave her a reassuring smile. "I know."

Kate called into Gibbs, again. Kate was sitting in the waiting area room at the psychiatrists' office. Layla was in with Doctor Williams. Kate had gone first. She had to explain the situation. It had been a half hour since she when in. Kate was trying to read a book, but it was hard concentrate.

Layla sat on the couch in Doctor Williams' office. At first, Layla hesitated to open up. After she started to feel more comfortable, she opened up more.

"So, Layla, your sister told me that you had trouble going into the kitchen." Dr. Williams started.

Layla nodded. "Up until yesterday." She confirmed.

"Why?" he asked.

"I killed him there." She answered, not making eye contact.

"One of the men who held you hostage?" he asked.

"Yes, I called him Stooge, but now I know his name was Daniel Carter." She answered.

Dr. Williams nodded. "What happened?"

"We were in the kitchen and he came up behind me. I didn't think, I just did it." She held back the tears that threatened to fall.

"What did you do, Layla?" he coached.

She let out a single sob. "I stabbed him."

"Who did you stab?"

"Daniel Carter." She whispered.

"Who, Layla?" the doctor tried again.

"Daniel Carter, I stabbed Daniel Carter in the side of the neck. He's dead, and I killed him!" She yelled as she sobbed.

He let her cry for a few minutes. "Does it make you feel any better now that you've said it aloud?" he asked after she calmed down.

She nodded. "A little bit." She answered.

The doctor smiled. "A little is better than not at all." He assured her. "Now, do you mind letting me see you arms?" he asked.

Layla sighed and then took off her jacket. Several cuts on both her arms appeared. In his earlier days as a doctor, Doctor Williams would have flinched at the sight. Doctor Williams has been a doctor for going on fifteen year; patients cutting themselves were far too common lately. "What was on your mind when you cut yourself?"

Layla, slightly, shrugged. "I felt numb." She answered.

The doctor nodded. "Do you feel numb anymore?" he asked.

Layla nodded. "No, I just feel pain. I'm scared."

"Scared of what?" he pressed.

"I don't know." She answered.

The doctor nodded. "Okay, I'll go get your sister." He stood up and left the room.

Layla put her jacket back on and wiped the tears from her eyes. A minute later, Kate and the doctor walked in. Kate sat by Layla. Layla rested her head on Kate's shoulder. "I think treating Layla as an outpatient would be beneficial so, I'm referring her to Doctor Adams. He's a therapist that works very well with patients with PTSD." He informed them.

"Okay, and he takes our insurance?" Kate asked.

"Yes. Good Luck to both of you. I will have Doctor Adams contact you."

Kate smiled. "Thank you."

Layla returned to school the next day and Kate returned to work. As he entered the bullpen, Tony ran up to her. "Kate, never leave me alone with him again!" Tony cried as he pulled Kate into a tight hug.

Kate pushed him away as Gibbs walked up to them, giving Tony his famous whack to the back of his head. "Don't harass her, DiNozzo, she just got back." He groaned. Then he turned his attention to Kate. "How's Layla?" he asked.

Kate smiled as she put her purse and her coat on her desk. "She'll be okay." She answered.

_**A/N: The End! This probably was not a very good, but I had a hard time writing it. Next story will be up soon. Forgive typos for now. It's almost 3 am**_


End file.
